The last few months I have talked with several women wanting to come into the EFLC Certification Program. With each call I am filled with joy, tears of recognition, and often sorrow and compassion. Each call presents a different conversation.
What are the most common reasons that stop women from investing in their purpose, passion and desire to partner with HORSE?
The most common reason, and often it is not even the REAL reason, is money. You may think that it is a lack of money. However, this is actually not the truth.
Often it is the inability to nurture and invest in yourself before investing in others. Women are amazing caretakers and will often sacrifice their own natural gifts and talents in order to serve by allowing others to be taken care of or supported first. The reason they offer is that there is just “not enough” money. This is not to say that there might not be valid reasons that it is not the right time to take this step, but I share these examples to give you the opportunity to ask yourself, “Am I making the right choice for me? Am I making sure to respect my own needs, or am I possibly falling into the pitfall of an “excuse?”
Here are some classic examples:
My husband lost his job so I need to (continue) to support him. (Even though he has been unemployed for 2 years).
Where do we draw the line? When does our generous support actually keep our partners stuck in their negative deflating cycles?
I just got an inheritance however I will need to use it to pay off the debt created by sending my child to college.
True, we need to support our children, however wouldn’t the person that left you the money want YOU to also experience personal joy and advancement. Wouldn’t they wish some of that gift to you?
I don’t have any money.
Typically 80% of the women who say they don’t have the money actually do have the money in savings. However, they are too fearful (or conditioned to never spend on themselves) to take a chance and use some of it to invest in their life path.
I don’t know how I will pay for it.
This is the person who truly wants the training and actually really doesn’t have the money in a savings account. They are often alone in the world, have been working a job that does not pay well for many years and can’t seem to break through into the abundance needed to make the commitment.
I need to ask my husband.
Yes, marriage is a partnership. And, what is the intention and energy that you bring to the conversation. Do you ask a question based in the need of outer approval or a declaration based in your deep knowing of your passion?
Question: “Honey, I want to do this, do you approve of my decision and do you give me permission, it is ok?”
Declaration: “Honey, I am going to the training. Let’s figure out how it can work.” or “Honey, you know how I love to grow and evolve in what I offer others. This is the next part of my journey and I am so excited. What is possible?”
Whichever of these positions you mentally and emotionally take is what you will actually create in your life. What do you choose? Do you want to live in possibility and create your life with ease and grace?
Now this is what I find absolutely amazing. Many of the women I speak with, will, either right before their Journey with Horse Discovery Session, or right after, receive a lump sum of money from some unexpected strange place such as:
- Money due from a loan to a friend or relative
- Reimbursement from a company for an overcharge
- New client sign up
- Sale of a house
- Maturity of CD or other funds
Some of the individuals who receive these funds immediately get that they are being supported to further their actions on the path with Horse. They are the ones who step into the course and, in a year’s time, have reached a new and expanded place of being. They are ready to live a life based on the Way of Horse.
Others will sabotage this positive affirming support from the universe and decide that the funds need to go to pay down a debt (one that often is not even their own) or to take care of someone else’s needs or repairs to a property or car.
When we truly state and “own” what will bring us joy, expand our abilities, teach us how to uplift others, connect us to our hearts, and bring us into like-minded communities, the world conspires to bring us success.
Do you see your true path and the world supporting you stepping forward?
Do you project fear, lack, doubt and worry?
Whichever of these positions you take, you will create the same results around you.
As a life coach of 20 years, part of my purpose in life is to coach and inspire others to take that first courageous step toward their desires, passions and purpose. Often, the end destination is unknown and the first step may be scary. Sometimes these feelings we mistakenly label as fear are actually feelings of vulnerability and excitement for the possibilities that will unfold. These feelings are actually a sign you are on the right path.
My wish for you is that you live this one life with the courage to be who you are meant to be and to trust the calling of Horse.